Typical Aries

One of the more exciting tasks I get to do at work is the monthly Birthday Calendar. I have for some time been doing a zodiac birthday calendar instead, as this allows me to group my coworkers together not only by sign, but also to write them horoscopes that I pull out of my rear. I feel drunk with power when I write these monthly horoscopes, because I think I can make things happen with my mind and I am single handedly responsible for giving you a good or bad month. Depending on which coworkers are under a sign is whether or not I decide to bless or curse.

This month the picture I chose for the Aries ram was found on getty images:

I thought it was funny and I liked the modern Spanish-art style. Then comes a coworker to my desk this morning: "Sharona, I just want to say that I am MUCH more manly than that ram on your sign. I envision myself more like THIS," and he proceeds to draw the following:

Please note this Aries ram is wearing wife beater while an Italian horn necklace tangles in his chest hair, the ensemble completed by a nice pair of boxing shoes.

Looks like I'm not the only one around here in the wrong career.