Who Says We Don't Exist?

In an act of unconscious sabotage, my recent business cards came back with my name listed as 'Sharon Sebly.' I don't know how well you know me, or how detail-oriented you are, so I will go ahead and tell you what is wrong with this: NEITHER OF THOSE NAMES ARE CORRECT. That is not my first nor my surname. So I was forced* to bring my personal cards to last Thursday's architect party. My personal cards have me listed as a Designer of paper-mache birds for a fictional paper-mache bird-making company. I cannot tell you the name of this fictional company as I can imagine a half-dozen architects googling the name of it soon and I'd rather them not be directed here.

Deee and I created this company (let's call it WUBs) when we went through our paper-mache bird-making phase. We are of course still willing to create our birds based on commission, but given the labor of love and alcohol that goes into these and the consequent price markup for the buyer, we're on a current sabbatical.

Now cue a room full of fabulous architects, known for high-end commercial and residential interiors. And this particular party was an awards party for the best of the best, so we're not schmoozing small-time here. Now cue Rona handing out cards indicating that SHE DESIGNS PAPER MACHE BIRDS FOR A LIVING. Talk about a ruckus. They ate it UP. They were INTRIGUED. They wanted to know if we made OTHER animals. I told one probing architect, "Well, we were THINKING about doing cows, but if you really pay attention, lobsters are soooooo going to be the next hot design animal. But can you IMAGINE paper-mache'ing a lobster claw? Not gonna happen. But COWS! Cows we can do." He nods earnestly, "Right, RIGHT!"

Another architect, Mr. X of a recently merged X-Y Architects, wanted to know how BIG our birds are. "Oh, about this big," I say, circling my hands into the shape of a baseball. He persists: "Can you make them THIS big?" He circles his hands into the size of a small Volvo. "No, they're really at their best about this size," I reply, re-circling my hands into the shape of a baseball. "NO," he repeats with the confidence born of a man who owns his own company, "Can you make them THIS big?" He re-circles his hands into the size of a watermelon. "Yes, THAT we can do." He nods in satisfaction, as though we have just bargained the price of a car down: "That's what I thought."

Others wanted to know if they were free standing ("we make wire legs for them") or if they just sort of squatted. Some were thinking they'd make good gifts, others were inquiring as to where they would see our work on display. "Do you do retail?" "We could do retail. Right now we're more into high-end residential**."

I feel like I just did some kind of bizarre market research. So I'm just gonna say, if you're thinking about launching a business but aren't sure about the audience, DO EXACTLY WHAT I DID. Put the cart before the horse and see if it gets pushed. And even if it doesn't, because everybody who is in love with your product is drunk, WHAT A GOOD TIME YOU'VE HAD.

*I use 'forced' loosely here.
**Natalie, you're officially our 'high-end residential' client.