So I was walking up the stairs to my apartment—no, more like running, because for some reason I take stairs at top speed like maybe if I make it to the top in five and a half seconds then the three flights will flatten into one—and of course, because I was wearing heels and moving faster than one should do going up stairs in heels, I tripped. And because I was carrying my usual 18 tote bags, I couldn’t block the fall. So yes, I face-planted. I ATE the step. And now the lower half of my face—notably in the chin area (who knew I had such a dominant chin? Nigh-herculean!)—looks like I used some super-exfoliator and burned off the first layer of skin. Basically, rug burn. I have RUG BURN on my FACE. Who DOES that? And of course, my coworkers have all SORTS of coy ‘Suuuuuure, you tripped’ or ‘You’re supposed to use your ELBOWS’ comments to make, which is always great for starting rumors. David thinks I should grow a beard or wear a burka. Other people are handing me ice packs and neosporin with pitying looks. Tori told me I should've worn a mini-skirt to draw attention away. I told Virginia that if it got worse I was calling out sick tomorrow. Which of course I can't because I have a meeting with RMW and Forell (but HELLLOOO! with this FACE?). Sigh...what's a girl to do?
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