"So...are you engaged?"

Usually men assume you are single until proven otherwise. Unless, of course, you are wearing a fake engagement ring. As I was when said conversation began on the One California from downtown to Pac Heights after work today.

As soon as I take my regretful seat, he begins: "Can you believe the bus isn't crowded for once?!" Me: "Uh huh." Him: "My i-pod is broken." Me: frantically tugged out book in which I immediately feigned interest. Him: "I went online, and everyone says to WHACK it. Can you BELIEVE that? I went to the Apple Store, and THEY recommended that I buy a new one! So now I beat it to get it to work. And it DOES work, after a few hits." "Mm hmm."

He mentioned his job about eighteen times (perhaps to cue me to ask what he did, a topic I politely averted). He asked about my book in which I was OBVIOUSLY engrossed, and I mumbled, "It takes place in Africa." "I've been to Africa once! Johannesburg. For business." He moved to San Francisco a year ago, from New York. ALSO for business. He was carrying the token gym bag, a prop I fell for with my ex and have now learned not to give any regard. A GYM BAG DOES NOT A GYM GOER MAKE, LADIES.

And then he spots the ring on my left hand: "So...are you engaged?" "Yes."