Saturday morning dawned grey and cold and I had a heckuva time trying to figure out how to get out of bed. I was awake. I was alert, even. But with Deee out of town this weekend and no Farmer’s Market at which to meet her at the crack of dawn, I found that the forces preventing my emergence into the world were too great. One shift of my blanket, one draft of cold air, and I’d burrow deep again. The strappy little nightdress that seemed like such a good idea when I was warm at bedtime was now determined to lock me into bed all day. And my bed’s not just ANY bed. My bed is The Cloud. The world’s softest, warmest, most welcoming place in all the land. Known by girlfriends the world over, The Cloud is legendary. Magnificent. The stuff of fantasy and adventure. And this is where my nightdress was determined to keep me. The most progress I made was pulling a pair of red socks from my nightstand and a hoodie from the back of my desk chair before diving deep again. Bundled thus, the only exposed flesh being between thigh and sock-top, I shivered in the frigid air of my tundran bedroom and texted my girlfriends the following: “Why can’t I work up the energy to put my pants on?” And apparently the majority of my girlfriends find weekends to be ‘clothing optional’...or else they’re just plain sick:
Sara (who claims her husband wrote this, but we all know better): As long as you’re not at a stranger’s house, who cares?
Katy: Sometimes it’s a struggle, I know! I finally got mine on!
Caroll: Cause you are in THE CLOUD, silly.
Deee: Because your mon amie isn’t waiting at farmey’s for you!
Leslie: Because if you do, you won’t be able to masturbate to me.
Sunny: Talkin’ to the right person. Am in a robe and wet hair.
2 comments:
The solution to not wanting to wear pants = adult onesies.
(I'm brilliant, I know hahahah)
Whereas I thought my response totally normal when I wrote it, I see now that maybe I am a little "off the beaten path." Oh well....
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