It's Leslie's Birthday Tomorrow!

And apparently she KNOWS me and my ineptitude with dates, because I just got the following email. Please note THIS IS WHY I LOVE HER SO MUCH. Again I state my usual Leslie warning: I hope you remembered to put on your depends today.

"This is an official reminder that you need to wish your very favorite person in the world, Leslie A. Goshko, "Happy Birthday" tomorrow, January 19th, 2008. She is 2__ years old but doesn't look a day over 20. You should embellish the fact that she is absolutely gorgeous and the funniest person that you know. None of this, "oh, I have two friends that are really funny. My friend here is just like Leslie." None of that bullshit. You must state that Leslie is the one and only super duper funny girl you know. You might also want to comment on how thin she looks. You can say things like, "Wow! You look soooooo anorexic!" or... "God! If I knew that throwing up my food could make me look like you, I would have started a long time ago!" These are all acceptable. You might also touch on her extreme "genius." Mention that she should be a member of MENSA and that the assholes at the ACT testing site when she was in highschool clearly switched her test with some pimpled Neanderthal there and that her score, in all actuality, WAS higher and she DIDN'T have to take the goddamn test three times just in order to get a passing score." This will make her feel good! Beyond that, use your creativity.This official reminder was brought to you by the "Good Friend Birthday Reminder Alliance." You will be billed for this service."