Imposter

Tonight I was asked to photograph a wedding. I've photographed weddings before, but always secondarily. I've never acted as the primary photographer. I asked the basic questions (indoor/outdoor/time of day, etc.), and all of it led me to one conclusion: I'm not ready. The bride was ridiculously sweet, and that made it harder. But right now, I'm sorely lacking. To be ready for an indoor wedding? I want lamps. Hoods. A wide-angle lens. The ability to use my fill flash without cringing. And I don't know, credentials. I don't have what I'd want to do it right. My perfectionism aside, this is her WEDDING day. The biggest day--outside of childbirth, possibly--of her life. And I'm going to come in with my two lenses, my tripod, my favored aperture-priority, my exposure settings two stops lower because in my world dark = dramatic, and call myself--my abilities--enough? Absolutely not.

So I'm going to take her business card--and her excitement--and tell her that I can't, in all honesty, call myself her wedding photographer. But I will for free be her secondary, because I love it.

*sigh*