A Total Rush

Forgive me for my excitement, but yesterday I was at Walgreen's and saw the most beautiful innovation ever. It was so amazing it gave me a reason to go on another day. This miracle invention? Facial tissue scented with vicks. Given that I have spent my life worshipping at the altar of the kleenex gods, with the offering of tissue permanently clutched in hand, purse, and pocket, I was overjoyed. Filled with excitement and anticipation, I bought two boxes and ripped one open as soon as I got home. As the smell of cool menthol shot through my nasal passages like so many tornados through the trailer parks of Oklahoma, I felt clear at last.

I can't wait to get home tonight and stick some up my nose for another hit.